Using Intelligences for Wholesome Decisions*

Intelligence, for long was regarded as function of rational, logical part of the brain. Thanks to tremendous amount of research and work that happened in neurosciences, ancient wisdom, behavioral sciences among other disciplines- Intelligence is also recognized in different aspects and human faculties. There are several ways in which intelligence is expressed and recognized- numerical, linguistic, logical, analytical, emotional, social and spiritual.

In Transformational Coaching, it is my experience that when coach facilitates Client’s decision making process in a manner wherein Client uses various aspects of intelligence- i.e. Emotional, Intellectual, Spiritual and Integrative or Transcendental, the decision making process as well as end decision is wholesome and enriching.

I present following coaching conversation with Brandon*. Brandon is a dynamic, successful entrepreneur who is committed towards success of his clients and learning something new each year to raise his bar.

The said conversation was part of three coaching sessions wherein Brandon was exploring Coaching Service as a new offering to his clients in the new financial year. While he was comfortable in terms of talking to his clients- mostly CEOs and entrepreneurs- and present coaching services for middle and junior level managers, he was not sure of offering coaching services for them. He wanted to explore his thoughts on the same and get ideas on how he can make a successful presentation to his clients. In the previous session, Brandon had worked on a creative metaphor to hold client’s attention. We took from there and built on the continuity of the topic.

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Coach: Brandon, I invite you to visualize your clients sitting in front of you in the same auditorium and reply the moment when you just finished your pitch on coaching using your creative metaphor

Brandon: Yes, it is very much alive in my mind. I can see and feel the excitement building up.

Coach: Brandon, now the situation is- for some reason, you cannot offer coaching for middle and junior managers. You have only one coaching offering- and that is for CEOs/entrepreneurs only.

Brandon: OK…but I am nervous about this situation. I think that they might feel that I am burdening them too much.

Coach: And what would you burden them with?

Brandon: (after a long pause) I do not know!

Coach: What do you know about your relationship with them?

Brandon: I know that they trust me, I know that they find me as committed service provider. Ok...if I share my personal experience as Coach, they may believe that coaching is good for them

Coach: What else, besides personal experience?

Brandon: They are CEOs; they would need to see some research data....may be, I will do some research and present research data on how many CEOs use coaching services for them.  

Coach: Or may be, you won’t?!

Brandon: No, I will present for sure. But I will use this only as reference. I want to use my personal trust and rapport with them.

Coach: Brandon, I’d invite you to hold the image of you addressing your clients. Please take deep breathes, settle down and just be aware of that image in front of your mental eye.

Brandon: (after a long pause) Yes, I can see very clearly the entire image

Coach: Brandon, without uttering a word, if you have to communicate the most essential message on your coaching offering, in form of energy transmission, what would that be?

Brandon: My energy is reaching them. It tells them that I am committed to your success. I have found something new and I am ready to share it with you. Through coaching, you will be more successful.

Coach: I invite you to hold this communication in the belly around your naval center. That is the seat of emotional energy.

What is the message that you get?

Brandon: I hear myself saying that we want to be successful; we have our challenges- but with each other’s help, we can succeed. And I have something that will be of great help to you.

Coach: What else?

Brandon: I feel confidence. And I want to share my confidence with them.

Coach: (after a brief pause) Brandon, it you are ready, I invite you to take the same communication to your Brain or Thought intelligence and hold it there.

Brandon: I feel trust. I can show them data and my experience as proof. I tell them, that there could be resistance in your mind; but we can try it out. I can offer them some free or discounted sessions. But I feel Trust here.

Coach: Brandon, one you are ready, I invite you to take the same communication to your Heart center, seat of Integration and larger knowing.

Brandon: (after a long silence) I find different energy here. I am calm and at the same time I am energetic. I am telling my clients, let us do it. I am telling them that a lot is demanded from you as CEOs; and you are also human beings- you need partnership, someone to express your ideas, emotions, check your decisions etc. I find myself connecting with them on human terms.

I want to stretch my arms sideways. (his eyes still closed, Brandon stretched his arms and stays in that posture for a few moments).

Now I think I am ready. Thank you coach!

We ended the session. Brandon later informed me that he started working on different forms of communications (email, broucher, one-on-one meetings etc. and requested for an off line/non-coaching discussion to get my views on it,  

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I came across practical application of three intelligences in coaching context during Alan Seal’s Transformational Presence Leadership & Coach Training program.

Basis ancient teachings, Alan proposes that Emotions, Thoughts and Truth are three human intelligences, with their respect seats being at Belly, Head and Heart respectively.

Coaching situation cited above brings out how different intelligences manifest distinctly. As a coach, I could not stop wondering how they work in their own unique way and then also integrate to create a larger picture. I particularly found Brandon’s ‘stretching of arms’ and feeling expansive at heart intelligence interesting- as human heart is supposed to  have the highest degree of electromagnetic field –even surpassing that of brain’s.  

I have promised myself to look at more experiences from different clients and run some research analytics later. Findings could be interesting and potentially useful for coaches and potential clients.

-         - Rajesh

 (* This article is part of ‘Chronicles of a Coach’ series. ‘Chronicles of a Coach’ series is intended to serve coaches, leaders & managers who have coaching as part of their professional responsibility, and also individuals who are curious about what coaching is and what coaching can do. Coaching subject, situation and coaching conversation is real; identity of the client is however changed completely to protect confidentiality and privacy.)

How do you want to show up in the New Year?

Time traveled faster, world came closer and we already are in 2014! Having seen the days of radio, black and white TV and solid landline telephone instruments [mostly black in color with white number dialJ]-today’s world appears nothing short of a wonderland. Technology has beautifully taken care of the most mundane and repeated processes. Squatting in a crowded marketplace, a fish vendor (read Macchhi wali in Hindi) or vegetable vendor (subzi wala) effortlessly update Facebook status and seven-eight years old kids are up-to date with latest X-box versions. Something beautiful is happening here! Our interfaces are becoming more human. There is a great interest in individual ideas, expressions, and interpretations. For every type- there is a community, there is an audience and there are cheerleaders. These times applaud you to be what you are, and expect more to reveal your uniqueness.

 

I asked this question to myself- “New Year is already here...how would you like to show up in 2014?” Ask this question to yourself...attempt answering....it’s fun!

 

Regards,

Rajesh

   

My New Year Wishes for You!

Happiness and Well-being are worthy goals to pursue. We wish for self and others Happiness as this is one of our deepest desires. Positive Psychology which also refers itself as a science of Happiness, describes Happiness as lasting state when-

 

(A) there is a state of deep engagement, 'Flow'- when time stops, and individuality ceases to exist. We experience 'Flow' when challenges+learning and our skills are placed in an optimal proportion

 

(B) we live a Meaningful life, serving Greater Purpose than oneself.

 

Wishing you a 2014 of High Engagement and Larger Purpose! :-)

 

Regards,

Rajesh

Of Resolutions and Deep Commitments to Oneself

Recently we had an interesting discussion in a small but pretty intense group of entrepreneurs and coaches. Subject was- "New Year Resolutions- Why do we create them and why, most of them fail their fructification?” Conclusions were deep. We create resolutions to express ourselves. Through those achievements- we are really reflecting on who we are and who we actually want to be. And resolutions invariably fail when they miss connect between our core and deepest yearning.

 

So, which part of my potential wants to manifest? What is the promise of 2014? What is energy of 2014? Which are those deepest gifts of mine that are eager to blossom and bloom in the times and seasons of 2014?

 

Wishing you all a Great Discovery and Happy Holiday Season J

Regards,

Rajesh

Quantum Physics meets Spiritual Wisdom: of Holograms, Upanishads and People Development

I stumbled upon the following paragraph from "Create a world that Works" by Alan Seale. It reads as:

....."We live in a holographic universe. A hologram is a pattern that is whole and complete within itself, which , at the same time is part of larger pattern that is whole and complete within itself , which is, in turn , a part of a larger pattern that is whole and complete and so on. In a hologram, every part contains the essence of the whole; each piece of a holographic picture contains the essence of the entire picture."

Now let me take you back in time- sometime between 100 to 500 BC in India.
Invocation verse from Isha Upanishad:

"That is whole; this is whole. From that wholeness comes this wholeness. Taking wholeness out of wholeness- what remains indeed is wholeness"

Implication- (This) Individual holds the complete essence of (that) Cosmic Consciousness.

It indeed is an extremely powerful paradigm. It's empowering - gives tremendous hope, confidence and positive frame- rather whole new way of looking at things. It also cuts all the possibilities of self-pity and helplessness.

Transformational Presence Coaching tools make this paradigm useful- accessible to make the inner shift happen in tangible way.

In the contemporary and future Organizational Context, I propose that if not all, but at least a critical mass of People Managers are taught concepts and skills of Coaching – in addition to traditional people ‘management’ methods and tools.  For a literate and well aware talent force, there is going to be far higher premium on people skills and aspects of tapping People Potential, Emotional Quotient, Spiritual Quotient, and Purpose Driven Leadership in times to come. Rather, the time is already here. We need to equip people managers and leaders with right concepts and skills.

 

-          Rajesh

 

Coaching- Holding the Space of Exploration and Discovery*

In transformational and life coaching subjects, I realized that holding the space of Exploration and Discovery for Client works wonders.

Coaching process becomes an incredible journey when Coach invites Client to "see", "explore", "feel" and "describe" the entire mindscape- the process becomes much more dynamic and engaging.

In my personal experience, I find myself becoming less attached to the "Outcome" oriented coaching.

Rather, holding Exploration and Discovery space for the Client is fascinating as Client becomes much more mindful, alert and both Coach and Client find operating with exalted intuition. Client invariably discovers something deeper and much more profound - if only the temptation of achieving "Result" or "Outcome" is not prematurely brought into the process.

I’d like to present a coaching situation and coaching dialogue. It was a great learning and fascinating experience for me as a Coach.

Alex* is in his late-thirties and works as a head of business development function in mid-sized Media & Communications Company. Life has not been easy for Alex as for last 7 years or so, as he has been going through troubled relationships at personal and  work front. He is a tenacious person and determined to transform his life through various endeavors and thus began our coaching relationship.

Coach: What would you like to discuss today?

Alex: People do not understand me; these days they all want to understand and conclude the way it suits them. I am really sick and tired of it.

Coach: So, what is the agenda Alex?

Alex: I want to discuss why people don’t listen to me.

Coach: I hear you say that you want to discuss why people do not listen to you. What is it about Alex? It is about all the  ‘people in your life’ or something else?

Alex: [after a long pause) I guess it must be something to do with my attitude or  my style.

Coach: How would you like to start?  

Alex: Let me tell what happened in a client meeting. I was making a point to this client and after sometime, he (client) simply got up and said “you are not even willing to listen to what I am saying…it is futile to discuss further...” and he walked away abruptly. I only wanted to help and give solution...but he simply has an attitude of..

Coach: (firmly interrupts) Thanks Alex-I do not see point in discussing your Client- if I may invite you to recollect another situation.

Alex: Yes, I am not in great terms with my girlfriend anymore. We were discussing about possibility of marriage for last several months. During our last discussion she suddenly flared up and said “forget it...you just don’t want to understand...”

At this moment Alex suddenly stopped and became reflective.

Coach: What did you see Alex?

Alex: I see a pattern. People invariably are telling me something...but I don’t listen- I always try to push my view. Many times they give all the cues…all the answers...but I guess I refuse to listen.

 Coach: What makes you not listen to them?

Alex: It makes me feel weak- it makes feel powerless. I feel if I listen to them, then they would get what they want out of me- and take my advantage.

{Silence- Coach held the space of silence yet remaining attentive to Alex.}

Alex after some time made an eye contact with the coach.

Coach: What would you like to do Alex?

Alex: I guess I need to improve my listening skills. I need to practice my listening skills.

Coach: How would you describe the quality of your listening with yourself?

Alex: (after a long pause)- I guess I have been avoiding listening to my inner voice.

Coach: May I invite you to start practicing your listening skills with yourself?

Alex: (tentatively) Ok…let me try.

Coach: Alex, I would invite you to close your eyes- be aware of your breath...be aware of your surroundings...be aware of the point of stillness within yourself.

(After a few minutes)

Alex, what to do you hear?

Alex: I hear noise- I do not know what exactly it is.

Coach: What do you see?

Alex: I see a skinny man with sharp features- he’s looking at me with suspicion.

Coach: Would you like to tell him something?

Alex: Yes, I want to tell him that I’d listen to people carefully- before making a point.

That man is saying something.

Coach: What do you hear?

Alex: He is yelling…”Are you crazy? They will just kill you…they will just run you over.”    

Coach: I’d invite you to listen to him deeply.

Alex: I am getting uncomfortable...but let me try

[After about five minutes of silence]

Alex: He is saying the same thing…but that energy has gone down.

Coach: And how are you feeling now?

Alex: I feel some kind of a space- I feel less tensed.

Coach: Would you like to say something to that man?

[Long silence]

Alex: I put my hand around his shoulder and told him…”look, things will be fine. There should be a different way in life now...and I am confident we both would be fine”.

Coach: Alex, I invite you to give all your attention to what he is saying.

Alex again went into a deep silence.

Alex: He is much more relaxed now. His face his softer and wants to try it out.

Coach: What are the next steps Alex?

Alex: I would like to listen to my team members more- would explain to one of them whom I trust that I consciously want to listen and understand first. And request her to give me regular feedback on how am I doing.

I also want to discuss this client with my boss and listen to what he wants to say.

Coach: I once again invite you to bring your awareness on your body…your breath...your muscles….your posture.

Alex: I feel lighter...but I a am also tired; want to sleep now.

-          We concluded the coaching session.

In the next session, Alex reported that after the previous session, he slept for several hours and he felt extremely relaxed and peaceful during the sleep; something that he had not experienced for a long time.

He also shared his new listening approach and positive changes that he’s noticing in people’s reactions towards him.

  This was a multi-layered coaching experience with many insights. Holding on to the space of exploration and discovery, without getting worried whether we are getting into ‘therapy’ realm worked well- in fact, that proved to be key for the successful outcome of that coaching session.

-          Rajesh

 (* This article is part of ‘Chronicles of a Coach’ series. ‘Chronicles of a Coach’ series is intended to serve coaches, leaders & managers who have coaching as part of their professional responsibility, and also individuals who are curious about what coaching is and what coaching can do. Coaching subject, situation and coaching conversation is real; identity of the client is however changed completely to protect confidentiality and privacy.)

Living in Alignment with one’s own Essence

Recently I attended a Transformational Workshop. It was deep, intensive work and facilitator had great deal of value to offer. All the participants were quite accomplished in their respective areas and had their own objectives, unique to themselves in terms of potential takeaways.

It was quite a rich and humbling experience to go through the process myself as a participant, as an observer and active contributor to the workshop and to my fellow participants.

The most striking takeaway for me was to see how life starts falling in place when individual gets in touch with his/her own Essence and starts lining in accordance with it. We struggle to find clarity, right motivation- we try and put some structures/order to get results and yet come out frustrated as they fail to provide solutions.

On the other hand, when we drop struggle and get centered and aligned with our Essence- magic starts happening. Mind gets quitter, inner noise subsides, and Intellect loses its arrogance and becomes available for a matured enquiry- and new potentials open up. In the workshop I experienced and saw this magic happening.

Sounds like great esoteric stuff! But what is the essence? Where to find it? And it is the same for all?

Spiritualist and quantum physicists would say that Essence at its ultimate level is the same for all. For practical level, Essence is quite individual and unique. Living in accordance with the same brings us great learning, joy, evolution and also presents our unique gifts to the world. Living in accordance with our Essence thus pretty much becomes the lifelong mission- rather the only worthy assignment.   

And this is applicable at the organizational levels also. Breakthroughs happen, large and complex projects get implemented in miraculous ways when interventions, strategies or projects are aligned with the Essence of the organization. Things do not work well, no matter whether biggest of the consulting firms are engaged or how many millions of dollars are invested.

For Leaders, Managers and Coaches, there is a great value to understand this principle and put it in living- every single day!

So, what is your Essence?

I invite you to find it out J

Regards,

Rajesh